Woke Up And My Mind Is Still Racing....

So it sucks being on summer vacation when most of your friends are still in school but at least I'm not the one in school. I woke up today again on the floor. I must of had a crazy dream but for the first time in a while I can't remember it. But today should be a good day I get to hang out with Ana & Shawn who are two of my closest friends and just the three of us hanging out has never happened. Man I got a lot on my mind but the first thing that is really trippin' me out is how much I'm trippin' over something that's nothing. That last sentence doesn't really make sense but if hopefully you get the gist of what I'm saying. It's like when I was a kid I missed out on so many things that others didn't so I sort of bad a certain things. It's just the curse of being a sheltered privileged kid, I guess sure you aren't robbed of your innocence as early as others but when you see the world for what it really is it feels like you become a beast. You deny it but you can't hold out you just want to destroy this world that you don't want to believe is real. So basically what I'm trying to say is.....fuck it I'ma go for it from now on. I think I've missed so many opportunities in life because of being too cautious. Schools coming up and I am not excited because I have a class 7:30 and there better be at least one fine ass female in one of my classes or I'm going to be angry. You know what's funny about Solano the beginning of last semester there were so many people who I thought didn't like me but they turned out being real cool with me. You judge people because of how they judge you, that's something I used to always do but I wish I didn't. I swear I fucked up potential friendships & relationships because of my brashness and stupidity. Maybe it was just a self-fulling prophecy where I believed certain negative things about myself that I would unconsciously ruin things. One thing I know for sure is that I HATE FERGIE'S VOICE holy shit would somebody tell that bitch to stop talking with a black accent.