I Know...

"Gio don't even fuck with it"

Yeah I know, I won't fucks with it even if it kills me inside.....

Man This IS F***ed Up

"Certain People Soled Out"

Ughh.....

I feel like I'm losing a good portion of my friends and I don't even know why. Honestly, It's some bull****. One person said it's because I'm influencing them too much, well it's a shame that certain people can't grow nuts where they can decide who they are. Others are just being shady and just excluding people from hanging out with them because all they are about the money & drugs. Man **** these people they will all get theres.

=/....

Heart throb never Black and Ugly As Ever - The Notorious B.I.G.

It sucks being the fat person that I am and sure all these girl say that I have this quality and that quality. But at the end of day none of them could look me in the eye and say they could be with a dude that looked like me. Shit...I'm sorry that I have this double chin and man boobs. I'm sorry I'm not like the rest of these guys that you girls consider "cute or handsome". IDK man.... I'm being hella emo in this post but eff' it. I don't really care anymore...

Letter To Judas & Medusa

'Till my heart bursts/or the pain no longer hurts/I will live life by my definition/ and by Gods intention/Even if I fall I'll stand back up like a man/break my bones attack my heart i no longer give a damn/you can't beat the spirit of man who is a bit odd/ I don't need much 'cept a dream and a broad/ So suck my dick you who all look at me with doubt/ simple minds can't even begining to comprehend what i'm about/Even when losing the fight i will not quit/trust me these punches ain't shit/I'm the voice of Malcolm saying the price of freedom is death/so fuck with my liberty and I will start and end your last breath/the government and church decive lose the message with corruption/my fellow men are theives and women murder with suduction/no force can stop me neither heavnely or deathly/I will become legendary that is my destiny/So fuck being humble i deserve to win the most/so when you hear my name raise your glasses and toast/nobody you know puts rhymes together iller than myself/give a fuck about wealth so all opponents save time and just kill yourself

Dream Log June 3rd, 2009 3:53 PM

Me and Shawn are at the mall because Shawn is hungry and wants food. We go around chilling and he decides that he wants some lemonade. While waiting in line I spot my friend Alex from church chilling with some girl who I can't remember if I've met. I go over and say what's up and then I realize I lost where Shawn was. I go all around looking for Shawn and I spot him on bench by Mastercuts eating chinese food. I go over and say what's up and he asks where I went and I say I went to say what's up to my friend. He makes a remark at how the girl that was with Alex was "Hella Bad" and we go out towards the theaters. We approach the theater and this lady asks us if we wanted to see a movie called "The Amazing Ship and Captain Morgan" we say no and leave to pick up Monica. After we pick her up we realize that we want to go a roadtrip so we all head on the freeway and soon Monica realizes she's hungry. Her and Shawn go inside to get food while Shawn tells me to park the car. I go through the drive thru on the side passing all the cars waiting in line and I see a cop car up front so I get nervous. I drive slowly into the parking lot sneaking by all the cop cars and I park it on the edge of the parking lot. I go to the back seat of the car and chill Monica and shawn come in and sit down. Monica starts crying and says me and shawn are hella mean and gets out the car. Me and Shawn go after her...

The End

Woke Up And My Mind Is Still Racing....

So it sucks being on summer vacation when most of your friends are still in school but at least I'm not the one in school. I woke up today again on the floor. I must of had a crazy dream but for the first time in a while I can't remember it. But today should be a good day I get to hang out with Ana & Shawn who are two of my closest friends and just the three of us hanging out has never happened. Man I got a lot on my mind but the first thing that is really trippin' me out is how much I'm trippin' over something that's nothing. That last sentence doesn't really make sense but if hopefully you get the gist of what I'm saying. It's like when I was a kid I missed out on so many things that others didn't so I sort of bad a certain things. It's just the curse of being a sheltered privileged kid, I guess sure you aren't robbed of your innocence as early as others but when you see the world for what it really is it feels like you become a beast. You deny it but you can't hold out you just want to destroy this world that you don't want to believe is real. So basically what I'm trying to say is.....fuck it I'ma go for it from now on. I think I've missed so many opportunities in life because of being too cautious. Schools coming up and I am not excited because I have a class 7:30 and there better be at least one fine ass female in one of my classes or I'm going to be angry. You know what's funny about Solano the beginning of last semester there were so many people who I thought didn't like me but they turned out being real cool with me. You judge people because of how they judge you, that's something I used to always do but I wish I didn't. I swear I fucked up potential friendships & relationships because of my brashness and stupidity. Maybe it was just a self-fulling prophecy where I believed certain negative things about myself that I would unconsciously ruin things. One thing I know for sure is that I HATE FERGIE'S VOICE holy shit would somebody tell that bitch to stop talking with a black accent.

The Glory...

And it was just the perfect day for every wrong thing to happen and in between the screaming of his parents and the gunshots outside he put on his headphones. His mood changed with every passing song on the mix CD his cousin gave him, he went from wanting to cut somebody's throat open to the sounds of Big Pun's song Twinz to looking into the eyes of a beautiful girl while reciting the lyrics of LL's Around The Way Girl. Either way the music allowed him to escape the music painted a vision of a fantasy of his and the lyrics provided the voice that allowed him to speak up in his dreams that he couldn't do in real life. He could just relate to the music but he didn't know why he didn't grow up selling drugs or boycotting the system. He just admired the power that these emcees possessed when they blessed the mic with there voices and they were such an impact to him he could remember every line even when the music wasn't playing. He long ago decided that he wanted to rhyme when he grew older. He kept his notebook handy in case he had an impulse to start jolting down lyrics.

Who rhymes sicker than me

Show me and I will defeat he

or her I don't care either gender

I'm the real deal your the great pretender

Young but soon I'll become a legend

So watch your mouth before you offend.

As time passed his skill became much more apparent.

My thought process is like a revolver

and my pen is like the robber

Busting out lyrics that'll blow your brain

much like the girl that you sustain

treat her right because you know it's mutual

like Washington where cashing out is habitual

because she wants this but you need that

so in reality opposites do attract

that's why I surround by phonies

but I order around these cronies

like my name was Capone

Untouchable mafioso so leave me alone

and fuck the police because they kill the innocent

All they want is dividends we struggle to pay rent

while I want to fight the power

my mother says with school I'll be devoured

so if I my ink inspires I'll be a scholar

or my blood spills and I become a martyr

I'll leave my imprint on earth

Make my enemies curse my birth

Everyday he would continue writing lyrics until he had over a hundred of notebooks filled. One day he came from school his parents were still arguing and he went to his room and turned on his CD player only to find out his headphones had lost there sound in one ear. He couldn't concentrate in a house with no distractions to the chaos around him. He left the house and stepped outside and the moment he did a stray bullet hit him the chest. As he fell he has one more fantasy playing in his mind and that was being on stage and having the spotlight on him and he walked forward and there in his daydream he lost his breath. The music kept him alive and although he never became a scholar or a martyr. He experienced his glory where the lights shined on him forever.